Raw Emotion

I didn't expect it. Twice today I was brought to tears by stories from strangers.

5:30 A.M. YMCA. I am working out but recognize one of the free weight guys and his story comes to my mind quickly. He is going to be pulling a car. Yep. A real car. He is going to pull it 3.5 miles and hopes to earn 3.5 million dollars for cancer research. His friend has breast cancer and last we spoke, he was hoping that she would make it to the date of the event. I walk over and ask him how his training is doing. Huge smile! He can easily pull the car one mile but it has been tough to train due to the extreme cold air.

My next question? "How is your friend?"
"She passed," he respond with smile slowly fading.

He proceeds to tell me that the end was quick and she died with grace.

I cried. I was sad that yet another mom has lost the battle to the dreaded disease. I want to swear. I want to hit. I just wanted to run out of the Y and scream. It hurts yet I didn't even know her.

He asked me to join the fight. I said that he could count on me to be a part of the collapsing wall of people that will follow behind him, cheering on his efforts to help a friend.

A few hours pass and I am at Target. Just a quick trip for toothpaste and fabric softener. But the clearance aisles persuade me to walk around a bit longer but I eventually make my way to the checkout. The gal taking care of me is pleasant. We share a quip or two but I am distracted by a man coming up behind me, in a hurry. He is purchasing a black sports jacket and black pants, a belt and a tie. His kids seem to have dress clothes, too. I glanced and nodded and said, "I sure hope those aren't funeral clothes."

With sadness he responds that they are for a funeral. I'm sorry. He explains that his best friend died yesterday. They don't know of what except he started vomiting blood Monday and by Wednesday all of his vital organs had shut down and he died. He quickly reminisced how just last week, "he came over to the house, had a beer and we talked about what was going on in the next couple of days. Now he is gone."

I hesitated to ask about family. He leaves a wife and 2 teenage kids.

I cried again. I cried and touched him on the sleeve and told him to hang in there. I cried in the parking lot as I sat in my van. I try to gain some composure because he is parked next to me. I smile and drive off.

Why such raw emotion? Because I fear that when the doctor "puts me under," my family could be the one that you meet and wonder what their story is... I am not ready for my husband to explain that "it was just a simple procedure, nothing that the doctor hadn't done before..." I am not afraid to die. Really, Jesus and I will get along great! I just want to be here, for now, for my family, my friends, for the stranger at the Y and Target and wherever else I may meet them.