I want to sit here and write something profound but all I have is random thoughts that seem to be all over the place emotionally. I am listening to some pretty awesome Praise and Worship music and my heart leaps with so much love for my Jesus. My life is in His hands...
Yet at the same moment my heart is sad because two of my dearest friends are now a phone call away rather than steps away. My mind wanders to the life they shared a few doors down from me. I still wish that I would have been more bold in my words with them. I saw their relationship dwindle and I didn't help. Lord, forgive me. Friends, forgive me.
My mind wanders to my brother, who after 30 years working at the same place of employment, has been re-assigned to a different job within the city. I cannot imagine that after all those years of walking into the same maintenance building, punching in, and starting your day has now been abruptly changed. Yes, he is thankful that he has a job but it is still an unknown for him. My brother loved his job at the golf course. Really. He Loved his job. Waking up early on a spring day to cut the course, to start the watering, changing the pin placement, to be alone with the quietness of the morning. Different seasons called for different jobs. He did them all and did them well. I am praying for my brother tonight.
My mind wanders to my mom and dad and all of the snow that continues to pile up around them. My parents are amazing! I love them. I love the foundation of faith that they instilled in me. I love that my dad would drop anything to play catch with me, shoot some hoops and even play some football! My mom taught me without using words. She is so strong. She plugs along everyday, straightening, laundry, shopping, and taking care of dad. All with little complaining. I see myself in her and I am proud of that part of me. They are great parents and I am praying for them tonight.
My mind wanders to my family. I cannot believe that God has given me a man of such integrity. My husband continues to challenge me to be the best wife and mom that God intended me to be. I am romanced by him, I am safe with him, I am loved by him. And my kids are nothing short of amazing. Each talented, each with humor, smiles, laughter and love. They are great kids. I am praying for my family tonight.
God, please keep my mind still for a moment. Happy thoughts, sad thoughts. Too pensive. Too silly. Too much of me. Not near enough of Him. How do I go about being who it is that You want me to be, Lord? I need to be more like you...daily.
Actions vs. words.
I want to use my actions to reflect who is my Lord.
Not my words. Hmmm. Not words. It's never been easy for me to share through words my faith. Maybe I need to do that more but I know that I want so much for someone to ask what makes me different...but will I be equipped or bold enough to use the words that are given to me? If I couldn't do that with my friends what makes me think I could do that if confronted about my savior? So, I need words. I need to live Christ through my actions yet be able to back it up with words? Crazy. Challenged.
Night came and I slept well. Still unsure what it is that He wants from me but I am going to continue to pray His will on my life.
My son is home today with a stomach virus of sorts. It's nice to have him home with me today. I think I will sit down here again later while he naps and share some more!
1 comment:
I am always encouraged and inspired to better my prayer life and daily walk with the Lord by your posts. You ARE certainly a witness with words and actions. You are having a greater effect than you know. I just love those still, quiet moments with God. So serene. So nice. Puts everything in perspective. I'm with you, praying to discern His will for my life. Be blessed, my friend.
Post a Comment