Wonder what it was that helped you take that step? Was it something I said? Was it something I wrote? Were you upset that I am healing? That I realize that I can be healthy? With or without you? Maybe I can. Maybe I can take time to realize that I am someone that matters. Maybe not to you, or her, or them. But I matter. I make a difference. Today I believe that there are people that want to be my friend. Today I believe that God loves me so much more than you ever will. Today I believe that my husband, my family, my friends, my neighbors, my acquaintances, the people in my life, look at me and not see an address, a number on a scale, a paycheck. I think they see beauty. I want to believe today that they see a friend that loves unconditionally, will be there for you, support you, laugh with you and cry with you, and can be trusted.
I don't ask for much in return. Take me seriously. Listen to me. Ask me how I am doing, every once and a while. Keep your promises. Celebrate life with me. Love with your whole heart and know that it will be safe always. I want to be in your community but I do not want to change me for you. Do you understand? Did you ever? I wonder. I sigh. I know that sometimes I can come across as a tough and thick skinned. But that is not the rule in my life. I am sensitive. I am soft. I do not need to be coddled but I need to be understood. That means time. Not just talk. But time.
I am rambling. But today these are the thoughts that are fumbling/bumbling around my mind and my heart. I am amazed at how relational He made me. I need to embrace that but not let it hold me so tightly that I cannot breathe when the bad stuff happens because it does...too often.
Just needed to say it. Just needed to remind myself that I am healing. I am someone special. That I am loved.
No comments:
Post a Comment