No real sense of what it is that I should write about tonight. I am listening to the first game of the World Series and kind of hoping that this series will go all 7 games. Yep, should probably make a prediction on who I think will win, or talk of the personalities playing in the game or how the Rays have come from last place and are now vying for the title.
But not tonight. Tonight I am just going to type and see where it takes me...
I am anticipating a busy next couple of days with work at the Y, soccer games, swim meet and I am attending a Women's conference at our church.
I like being busy but tonight my mind is wandering.
I am thinking that I need to stop trying to please people when I know that after so many years of doing so, it has gotten me nowhere. I have tried to be myself, I have tried to be who I think they want me to be, I have tried to make them laugh, I have tried to fit in, I have bought stuff to look more important, I have hid my house (neighborhood) from them, I have made excuses, I have patted them on the back, I have tried.
I need to remember that above all I am also God's child. He knit me together, He knows me and I need to believe that He loves me.
Why am I thinking this way? Is it that I will soon be celebrating yet another year and am now closer to "mid-life?" Why all of the doubt? Something or someone triggered these emotions. I need to be done, I need to let these "friendships" go...
I think I'll go watch the game with the one who does take me for who I am...Thanks Ryan. I love you 2!
1 comment:
I can't believe what I'm hearing! What I've always loved about you is you being you. You're just plain loverly when you're you. If you ever tried to be something/one else, I'm not sure I'd get it. Whoever is making you feel this way must need some prayers. Don't ever change.
I love you!
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